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+12 votes
in All The Rest by (224,970 points)

26 Answers

+7 votes
Best answer

yes and no

Yes-If one of you is attracted to the same sex

Yes-if one of you is attatched

Yes-if you have been friends since grade school

For every other reason, my answer is no.  For a single man who is looking for marriage, he is looking for a woman he can make his wife.  When men find a lady attractive, they want to get to know her better to see if she is someone they could see marrying.  Friendship is always said to be the basis of a great love.  When either one or the only is attracted, no they cannot be friends.

A man is looking for a woman he can marry, trust, and be vulnerable with.  A man has to be able to trust you to be vulnerable.  Also, men will not be vulnerable just because.  Did he tell you how being left off the basketball team in 6th grade made him feel?  Did he tell you that he is embarassed about the scar on his foot and the story behind it?  Guess what?  He sees you as a potential wife.

Also, women or men should not get upset with the other if they declare their feelings.  If they don't feel the same, appreciate and respect it, and either move on, or don't.

I am sorry, I am not vulnerable with friends.  If I tell you something that noone else knows, I either love you, am falling in love with you, or value and respect you a great deal.

If I am ever in love with you, I can't just be friends because one or both is then not being authentic because feelings are being withheld

Time is simply how we live our lives-Craig Sager

by (1,180,830 points)
selected by
+5 votes

No, they can't be just friends. Every single man wants every single women in the world sexually. Take a moment and think about it.

Life is what you make it.

by (4,063,911 points)

Best answer.


Not really. Not all men are that inexperienced. Some of us know to look under the hood before we drive the car. For example.. John Wayne had a beautiful first wife. They got married. Then she insisted her mother stay with them. Then she wanted to get a job. He refused. She retaliated by not shaving her legs, her face and gaining weight. She also forced him to sleep on the couch in the living room. It took him 8 years to figure out all that glitters is gold. lol

+4 votes

Yex, I think that men and women can just be friends. I am friends with plenty of men and yes their wives trust us, just as we trust ourselves. They are like brothers and cousins and such.  I even have a male as a best friend. All men do not think about sex all the time,  and if they did,  what is a little fantasy for a second?  LOL! 

I know what I have given you. I do not know what you have received. ~Antonio Porchia

by (421,210 points)
+3 votes

No Billy Crystal said it best in When Harry Met Sally:

Harry:"Men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way."

Harry:“Great! A woman friend… You know you may be the first attractive woman I have not wanted to sleep with in my entire life.”

Harry:“No man can ever be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He’ll always want to have sex with her.”

Sally: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?

Harry:: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too

by (440,860 points)

That last bit is a contradiction in terms.  Unattractive = someone you don't want to shag, surely? 


Apparently that is common male thinking, someone to shag is better than no one to shag. Or so I have been told. But I am not a man so cannot confirm :)


ding ding ding, except the unattractive thing for me.  I am a demisexual, I need a mental and emotional connection before being attracted.  Looks might catch my attention, but they won't make me attracted

+6 votes

Typically when there is no sexual attraction between the two then yes, it flows pretty smoothly. Once it goes there.... to me, the possibility of sex now becomes an underlying thought that could happen again within the realm of variables and opportunities.

"He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life." - Muhammad Ali

by (1,228,920 points)
+4 votes


+5 votes

There is no reason that two emotionally intelligent human beings cannot be friends-even if they are the opposite sex. I can guarantee that every single man and woman who answers this question can name at least 10 women off the top of their heads that they wouldn't want to "bang". Therefore, they could easily continue "just being friends". 

Anyone who says no is implying that every single man and woman are attracted to one another, which is obviously ridiculous.

~~~Every time you fail to upvote me, a puppy dies a horrible death.~~~

by (428,890 points)
+6 votes

Yes indeed they can be.  I have a great many friends who are woman, that I have not slept nor want to.  My two oldest friends I have known since I was 14, 40+ years ago. 

One of the two is a woman I have had the pleasure of calling friend.  She married a roommate of mine. Never in all these years have I had the desire to sleep with her.  She is was and still is very attractive, personable, and sexy.

“Better a true enemy than a false friend.”

by (2,820,060 points)
+4 votes

I have longstanding male friends.  The idea that men only ever become friends with a woman because they want to do her doesn't make a blind bit of sense to me, because if it was true, wouldn't they have made advances and/or given up and quit being my friends by now? 

Never open doors if you don't dare to walk on through ...

by (1,062,110 points)
+3 votes

what blue said!!!

by (793,900 points)
+5 votes

Sure.  I have a number of women friends, and have had in the past.

It doesn't mean that I don't want to, or would not, screw them.  Although if they wanted to we could have sex and still be friends.  But I do genuinely like these people and they don't seem anxious to screw me, so I respect that and remain friends.  

Even though I may be the horniest guy on the planet, it doesn't mean that I reject everyone who doesn't feel the same way, and by this time in my life I pretty much expect them to not feel the same way.  But we can be friends.

by (1,571,280 points)
+3 votes

Of course! Obviously I don't know from personal experience, but I do know that I don't want to bone every potential bone-able person who I meet. Just because your sexual orientations match up, does not mean your genitals will.

"I'll make sure to sin in as many entertaining ways as possible before I die." - Sheogorath

by (572,200 points)
+3 votes

Of course they can. However, I personally can't imagine myself being close friends with a gal who has me friend-zoned, but I can still remain on friendly terms with her. If she and her significant other and I are also friendly with one another, that makes it even more amenable.

"Tangled is the web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Raleigh

by (560,280 points)
+2 votes

This has already been answered-

Carpe the Fucking Diem

by (31,030 points)
+3 votes

Four of my closest friends are straight guys, two of them are single, and I don't wanna fuck them. They might want to fuck me, but I seriously doubt it, we've been friends for years and there's never been anything sexual or romantic between us. So yeah, they can. It's only weird if you make it weird.

That's my secret, Cap; I'm always tired **transforms into Incredible Sloth**

by (99,770 points)
+2 votes

no guys want what tehy want no stopping that

by (13,480 points)
+2 votes

Yes, I have lots of attractive female friends ..

And I'm not trying to have sex with them

In all honesty I've turned a few down, because of our friendship, and we are still good friends

by (292,100 points)

Hell I'm even friends with women that I have slept with



+1 vote

Of course they can. All the women I presently know are just friends. And that includes you.

by (740,240 points)

I am referring to actual friends you spend time with in person, talk on the phone, etc.

+1 vote

During 2008 I lived in Reading and carried on a ploutonic releationship with an Italian girl, We just got on really well but did'nt fancy each other. 

by (123,280 points)

Right, there wasn't chemistry.  If one or both were attracted there couldn't be a relationship in most cases.

+2 votes

Umm.  Well...maybe.

If there is no attraction?..possibly.

You are welcome for my definitive answer.  


Just Smile  :)

by (20,660 points)
+1 vote


+1 vote

Yes - I think that even if they have been attracted to each other as long as they haven't been attracted at the same point in time they can be friends. As a straight female, I have a ton of straight male friends at college, and it's never gone any further than just friendship with any of them.

by (640 points)
0 votes

An age old question

A simple one, but rather complicated. Why? One word: Motive!  

There is a natural attraction instincts that exist between a heterosexual male and female. Once we admit that and factor it in our friendships, we actually have a chance to create true and lasting platonic, cross-sex friendships.

by (100 points)
0 votes
This is a tough one.  I have had a lot of female friends over the years and majority of them have hit on me, made comments with sexual undertones and/or found me attractive and sometimes vice versa.  That's just from my own personal experience.  Usually the woman says something or makes a move.  Women are also as sexual as men and like attention and the comfort of companionship as well. I did not make any moves or say much as I did not want to disrespect my friendships with my female friends but they would be the ones that would make the first move. 

The one time I made a move on a friend I got rejected as she liked another male friend of hers at the time since he told her he had feelings for her for 2 years.  This pretty much proves my point. 

One of my best friends does not date a lot and has not gotten around a lot in the dating scene has had plenty of female friends and has not received the same "crossing of the friendship" line like I have experienced over the years.  Maybe it's possible for him to keep his female friends. 

It has been almost impossible for me to keep female friends around since usually something happens.  

Im not saying its impossible to stay friends especially as one of the previous posters stated if you have been friends for SUCH a long time or just have NEVER looked at each other in that way before BUT in the end biology takes over on both sides.
by (4,240 points)
0 votes

Absolutely, they CAN be.  It's a complicated answer, I think, that won't fit into a one sentence answer.  I have many female friends.  As a male teacher in a school, I worked with mostly females.  I was friends with nearly all of them, but never wanted to have sex with them.  On the other hand, there were a couple who were attractive to me, and I will admit that on a very few occasions, I fantasized about them, but it was not a feeling that I wanted to move from fantasy to reality.  And even though I had an occasional fantasy, it was not a persistent thought that dominated the time I spent with them in a meeting, in the lunch room, or in casual conversation.  It just happened once in a while:  There would be a day when I felt a bit "needy" (perhaps from lack-a-nookie at home for a while), and that female happened to be wearing something that attracted me, etc., and on the drive home from school I would think, "Wow, ___ looked hot today."  And then the fantasy.

Other women in my life have been attractive, sexy, flirty, and -- bottom line -- just friends.  I enjoy their playfulness, their sense of humor, their intellect or wit, etc. -- and just look forward to spending time with them, with no real thought of sex or even thinking that I would want sex with them.  

Are there women with whom I would want to have sex and probably would if the opportunity arose?  I'd be lying if I said no.  

But to say every woman would trigger the desire is a gross overstatement.  

by (962,040 points)
+1 vote

Good question this. The view count is also quite interesting.

Life is what you make it.

by (4,063,911 points)
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