I am not saying the actual act of her doing it was funny, the way you said "midget dunked my head in custard" is funny.
I am picturing a little person....ah nevermind. Lol.
I do apologize for laughing in the beginning in your original post. I, honest to God, thought it was a joke and not something that really happened. It sounds comical like something that would occur in a movie.
Now I am seeing that you are really embarrassed by this.