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+1 vote

I'm in a very happy marriage, we love each other very much. We unfortunately have very mismatched sex drives. He could take or leave it. 

I can finish via penetration, which a lot of women can't. Orgasms aren't the problem, I'm not impossible to satisfy, I actually finish pretty easily. He just has very little sexual desire, and when we do have sex it's a one-two-maybe-three and we're done. Last time was seven minutes from start to finish, foreplay included. I feel like he doesn't even try to hold off, and then it's all "Oh, honey I'm sorry it was so fast you're just so hot I can't resist!" Mmhmm. Sure. Whatever. And he always waits until very late, like 1 or 2 in the morning before he puts any moves on, because he knows I'm tired and I guess he thinks that means I'll be grateful for the quickness. 

I used to try a lot, and get shot down a lot. I don't try anymore, I just wait for him to do it, because he never wants to when I want to. And lately I don't even want to do it when he does because I'd rather just not do it when I know I'm going to be left so unsatisfied. Like why bother? We still have sex once every two to three weeks. That started before the quality dropped off, he just doesn't need sex more often than that, and when someone is having sex with you because YOU want it and they don't, well that feels awful. He used to tell me it was quality over quantity, which was fine, until now there's no quality or quantity just me feeling unhappy and unwanted. And I've told him this makes me feel unwanted and he tells me how awful that makes him feel and then we have a better experience before it goes right back to zero. I know he can do it right when he tries, he just doesn't try. 

He's good at other stuff but the other stuff takes me longer than penetration, by a LOT. I don't want other stuff. I just want a good deep d***ing ever 2 weeks and I don't think that's too much to ask. So what can I say and what can we do to make it last longer when it happens? 

in Relationships by (120 points)

4 Answers

0 votes

Slip him some VIAGRA!!!!!

But, But, But ....I much preferred to use  the ...Soft Peter, cause that mofo that came near me, was lucky I did NOT STAB him in his back,  ...that disease carrying piece of lowlife...

Just knowing he was on top ...made me sicker than a dog ....not in heat...when he was riding ...this wet piece of Candy!!!

0 votes

You don't mention your ages, but it would be helpful for your husband to go to his doctor. It sounds like a premature ejaculation problem. 

by (950,680 points)
+2 votes

I could have written this.  Just from the opposite side as you.  I agree completely to everything you said. Especially that part about it feeling awful if the other person is just having sex as a favor to you.  Long ago I gave up begging and manoeuvring her into sex.  I felt lime a rapist pervert, and the sex was not very satisfying.  I also elected to just wait until she was ready.  Sex was still poor, but better than none.  Unfortunately the intervals gradually stretched out. Weeks, then months, then years, then decades.  I don't think there is anything that you can do about him, unless you can get him to medical and psychological help.  And maybe not then.  My wife refused to get help.  As she put it, why should she seek help to become a sex crazed nut like me.

It is no wonder that he is a two stroke wonder.  His equipment gets no work, is super sensitive, and fires almost immediately before you get the deep pounding you crave.  If he used it more, he would last longer.  But he doesn't want it to last longer, he wants to get it over with.  Unfortunately, he isn't thinking of you.

You are not totally unique.  A friend of mine was very much like you.  He could be getting laid once every few weeks and was happy.  She was thinking that twice a day would maybe get her by.  I wish I had been able to help, we both would have felt better. Anyway, she delivered an ultimatum.  If he could not screw her every morning, she would find someone who could.  He tried.  He said that there was no reason that he could not put it to her every morning.  But after a couple of weeks, he just could not get it up any more.  There is no deep penetration with a limp penis.  So, she found a guy who would screw her frequently and well.  At least for a while.  The couple divorced.

So, that brings us to what you can do. 

 First, is just accept it.  My choice.  But I don't recommend it.  It leads to a life of frustration and bitterness.  Love will not survive if you are never getting any help having sex.  Second, find a fuck buddy.  

Someone who will do what you want, and then go away.  I would have loved this option, but am fairly lousy at seduction and could never find anyone, and was to gutless to try on my friends wife.  Missed opportunity.  But for a woman, it is fairly easy to find a guy to screw her.  A lot of guys are very interested.  

And third, go your separate ways now while you still think fondly of each other.  Don't wait until you have wasted your life and hate each other out of misery and frustration.  This would be my recommendation.  You may not find anyone better, but then you might.  It would be worth the risk.

Good luck.

by (1,461,550 points)

its seems he has Premature Ejaculation issues. Its completely normal. if u havent checked it before marraige sex


She is not complaining about him not lasting long enough, she is complaining about him not doing it enough.  Completely different problem.  If he would screw her more often, he would probably last longer.  He doesn't want sex to last longer or be more frequent.  

0 votes

I feell sorry to hear.  But I've been searching my whole life for a woman like you !  :)   Meaning that you get satisfaction from intercourse and like it !!    You need to be cloned !!  :)

by (6,020 points)
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