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+1 vote

I am in love with a woman who is 18 years my junior, (I'm 52) she is intelligent, attractive, beautiful, and we are very connected my problem is a total lack of experience with women (there is a story there but thats not my point) I am feeling so much trepidation and loss as to how to proceed, she is asking me about plans and things and I have just never done that for or with a woman before. I have told here everything I can to put her off but she keeps surprising me, Tonight I told her that I would be unable to have sex because off my age and my medical history but she astounded me with her response. What do I do and how do I proceed? Advice Please seriously.......its just internet dating but I'm taking her for real.  

in Dating by (6,950 points)

5 Answers

+2 votes
Best answer

You need to be honest with her. Feeding her a line to “put her off” is not cool and that’s the best way to screw up this relationship. 

Tell her what you told us - that you’re nervous and unsure of things. You don’t need to give her all the gory details, but you DO need to let her know how you’re feeling. TALK TO HER. Open, honest communication is always the right way to proceed.  If the relationship is meant to be, she will appreciate your opening up to her. If she walks away, at least you know where you stand. 

by (2,454,620 points)
+2 votes

I'm not completely sure what you mean by "just internet dating".  If that means you've never physically met don't get too far ahead of yourself.  Ever seen the show "Catfish?"  A good portion of internet connections are not what they seem.  Lot's of con-artists and just weird people pretending to be something they are not out there.  Even if she's completely on the level you'll never really know if there's a real spark there without face to face time together.

by (955,310 points)
+1 vote

I suggest you stop worrying and just have fun with it.

by (4,042,291 points)
0 votes

If you want this to go no further than the keyboard you need to be honest with her. Tell her of your lack of experience and problems with intimacy and why!

We all have hidden insecurities and you might be surprised to find out she does too, just different ones than you have.

 Many people can overlook a number of flaws but dishonesty is very often a deal breaker!

Re-examine what you want out of this keyboard relationship and level with her.

by (792,670 points)
+1 vote

Whoa, Bucco. Don't make ANY plans for proposals of marriage or ANY long-term commitments such as buying or renting a house/apartment together, etc. ... UNTIL YOU HAVE MET HER IN PERSON and have spent time getting to know her IN PERSON, in real time, in a real place, not an Internet cafe.

If you really feel strongly about her, commit to MEET HER.  Spend time with her in reality, not on the phone or in emails or on Facebook or in messages.  TALK with her and LISTEN.  Watch her eyes.  Watch her facial expression.  Look at her body language.

But DO NOT go any further with your "life plans" until you do this.  If you don't follow this advice, you may regret it for a long, long, time.

by (823,640 points)
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