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+1 vote

He asked the girl who didn't sleep with him to go on a "break" to a cottage owned by his friend in Plymouth with him on the 1st date. He lied to her about his actual address and she told him she couldn't take him to her place because she lives in student halls and her place is small.

Then he said this cottage thing.

Then he asked me to go on a week summer vacay with him.

He also was seeing someone in February and March that time and when I asked him how he has been, he said he was good and he had been in the city. Does that mean he went away with other girls before?

in Dating by (-29,200 points)
edited by

3 Answers

0 votes

This hot chick sat next to me on the bus today. Thought you should know.

Life is what you make it.

by (4,063,911 points)
0 votes

Why are you giving this guy any of your time? It's clear you're not in it just for the sex but looking for a relationship with him. He is not, he is comfortable screwing you on a casual basis.

That's okay if you're both on the same page but you're at opposite ends here. The time you're wasting on this guy is time you could be with someone who wants more than your body.

Move on, you deserve better 


If he's not looking for relationship then why go on holidays and not even touch his phone ?


Because he has already told you he isn't, he likes someone else.  While he is interested in her he is passing time with you, and you appear to him to  be okay with that.

You asked about a relationship and he made his feelings clear, we know this because you told us.

You are better than that. I say this because it's clear that you want more but are playing the casual to be sure he comes to you.

You're lying to him but more importantly, you're lying to yourself.

Let it go, you'll feel like crap for about 6 months then I promise you, it'll be %better.

You will have more happy years without him than this that you're having with him 


But how does he like that girl when he's going on holidays with me or others?? She hasn't even had sex with him and he's incredibly resentful over it. He hasn't seen her in over 3 weeks


It's a guy thing. It maybe a new millennium but its still a thing with guys, can he introduce you to his parents.

And of course he may admire her, he may admire that she isn't loose. 

It may be 2022 but there is still some old fashioned folk out there


But she won't sleep with him and he has been super pissed for that. He's not meeting her. Texting her or anything so how can he?


How can he not? Seriously! Just because you're available for sex when he wants it doesn't mean he is super pissed with the girl that isn't. I'd go as far as to say that's why he is keen on her. 


What do you mean keen on her? He barely talks to her, sleeps with me, and enjoys himself. Where is she in the picture? Nowhere?


 Oh okay so she is only in your picture? To us on this site she is in every post you make. So let's start again from scratch. 

What is your question?


Yes that What do you mean keen on her? He barely talks to her, sleeps with me, and enjoys himself?


Keen on her is he likes her and its perfectly possible that he sleeps with you but likes her more.

Please don't misunderstand, I'm on your side, I'd like you to stop wasting your time on him and go find someone who wants you for you.

I've been there and done that but let me tell you this...

The men I really wanted a relationship with were the man I didn't jump in to bed with too soon.

Think about it.


But he doesn't want a relationship? He was looking to hook up with her too but she didn't seduce him otherwise if she was texting him. Calling him or seducing him , they would have been intimate already.

He thought she would chase him but she didn't but I do know that she cares for him because whenever he was sick or cold, she would show concern, ask how he is etc.

All he's done with her is to try to manipulate her to get with him but he hasn't succeeded. So how can he like her?

He wanted to go with her but she didn't sleep with him on 1st or 2nd date so he dropped the idea.


Why are you so hung up on her if you believe he doesn't like her and that's why he is shagging you.

Where does he take you out? Do you have a favourite restaurant? Do you go to the cinema? Maybe you both enjoy the outdoors.

Tell us why you are so focused on what is he thinking about her while he is dating you


Why do you think he is keen on her? I wrote the whole paragraph above your comment so pls tell me

Because she's still in his contact list and that bothers me that he won't get rid of her number.


Read my response. Why do You think he asked her to go with him to a cottage? 

Did he ask you to the cottage? He asked you to go away with him but was it to his friend's cottage?. 

What does going to the cottage represent? Why is the cottage on a different level than a "vacy". 

To be honest, and I'm not trying to hurt you but you need to ask him all these questions you're asking us. 

I'm drawing on experience, I've been where you are but I can only offer you advice, I cant make you follow it 


To hook up with her right?? Same as me? Sex for a week as much he wants?

 Cottage is the same as vacay because we did go to an inn which his friend told him about

Maybe his friend already knows that he brings girls over so he knew it was OK?

Also if he liked her then why did he stop seeing her? If the cottage owned by his friend is so different, how come he showed no interest in getting to know her?


I dont know!!!! Why are you asking this if you're sure he isn't interested in her? What's the real story  here,?what are you asking us,

Ask the question without reference to her. 


You said cottage os different from vacay. Can you explain why?


It's more intimate. However you haven't told us what sort of vacation he meant. 


The same as that one. He said there's an inn he knows of where we can spend our vacation together. What's the difference?


You know what? Just go, fill your boots, hopefully the Inn is as intimate as the cottage.

Be confident and make him explain his feelings. Be sure to tell him you're looking for more than a hook up and you want a commitment.

Be absolutely sure you are prepared for his response and if you're still prepared to screw him  after a negative  response then it's no longer a problem you need to ask us about.

Saying that I'd like to know how it goes 


Can you tell me one thing? If the cottage is more intimate then why did he stop seeing her when he realised she won't give him sex?


I only have your word for for that. However, going by your own words she refused to have sex with him long before he invited her to the cottage.

Sweetheart you have free will, do what you want. I have offered you advice, you don't need to take it.

Just know if it goes pear shape you can still come to us for support.

All I hope for you is that you make good choices.


It was their 1st date and he asked her to go with him. I already write this before???


To go with him where,?


To the cottage owned by his friend kn 1st date to her?

0 votes

Yes.  I think he uses that ploy a lot.  Sounds like an effective way to get a girl to spread her legs.  I wish that I had thought of that.  

by (1,571,280 points)
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