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+1 vote

My question is, why, after an affair, would a woman not leave her boyfriend or husband even though the affair partner has a better "package" and better in the sack? I've asked friends, but no one really knows (the girls claim they don't cheat).

in Relationships by (1,440 points)

1 Answer

+4 votes
Best answer

1. Welfare or what’s best for minor children.

2. Financial considerations. She may not be able to make it on her own. She also might worry leaving for “someone else” may not work out long term. Then she is up a creek without a paddle.

3. While an affair may be a diversion from problems it isn’t necessarily a permanent answer. Her lover may be exhilarating for a few hours meet up but long term may have as many personality flaws as her current partner.

4. Acceptance by friends and family You may lose 50-75% of your friends in a divorce. This isn’t acceptable to most people. They prefer to lead a double life as many families may judge their decision harshly.

5. Change is hard. Women who divorce go through tedious changes. Separating their credit, who gets custody of pets, name change, change of address (even the city she lives in) children’s acceptance. These changes are daunting even for independent confidant females.

Many of my friends have struggled with these unfortunate realities.

6. In spite of one’s morals some women simply think divorce is “wrong”.

7. Believe it or not great sex isn’t everything. 98% of your life is spent dealing with non-sexual issues. Maintaining a great relationship is more difficult than one imagines. Taking one’s partner for granted often takes place with familiarity. Great relationships take great communication and work!

Hopefully this answers your question?

by (1,048,190 points)

Very thoughtful and insightful answer.


Thank you! Many of my closest friends have sought out my insight into their personal situations. Thinking I know them best. I try to be objective about the pros and cons.

The pros can be:

A partner who isn’t:

Addicted to drugs or alcohol 


Verbally abusive

Physically abusive



So it is def a balancing act!


Thanks for you insight, this is very helpful. Of course I believe there should be more points, I could be wrong. For example, do they think about the feelings of their husbands when making that decision? What psychology has taught me is that women will always act in their own and their offspring's best interest, and you have confirmed this. Thank you.


One can never know the definite response by another individual especially when finance,child custody and personal pride are involved.

Men and women both have been known to get violent when confronted with these types of issues.

OJ Simpson comes to mind and even an example of one jilted wife who drove over her husband with his own Corvette.

I would even think women who have physically abusive spouses give this even more thought!

Of course both sexes have been known to try and manipulate their children during custody battles, unfortunately!


This is a very thoughtfully articulated response. 

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