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+1 vote

I am a bit conflicted and would like some opinions.  I am a Christian for  years.  I try to live my life righteously and never wish to offend anyone.  I usually tithe with no question until now.  Here is what is bothering me.  My daughter who is 40 is in need of medical attention for numerous reasons beginning with bad knees that are constantly going out on her.  She is married with children , however, theyre really struggling financially.  Her 4 year old son is autistic and wears her out constantly.  She lives in MD (I live in FL) and has no support system and she is burning out.  I am concerned about her health.  Because she cannot afford health insurance she refrains from getting medical help.  I have prayed over this because instead of tithing, I feel I should pay for her health insurance so she can get the medical help she needs.  I have tried reaching out to a few pastors about this but I get no answer.  I just dont want to go against Gods will in any way. Please, people, no need for nasty responses.  I know what my heart is telling me to do but because it is written in the bible about paying the house first that I am concerned. BTW, one day while praying about it I recieved a very warm feeling to the point where I almost cried.  I felt at that time it was ok.  I appreciate your feedback

in Religion by (1,140 points)

5 Answers

+2 votes

I wish I was qualified to give a complete spiritual answer. But, I am not.

You don’t not say what denomination you belong to.

So, here is my best advice to you.

I assuming you having been a Christian for many years, may have a “home church”, one you attend regularly?

If that is the case and you know your pastor ask to set up an appointment for counseling on the matter rather than take the opinions of strangers.

Explain your situation and ask him to pray with you about it.

The concept basically is one of “faith” and many tithers give willingly and gladly their 10%. Many times the money seemingly gets replaced from an unexpected source.

I am not suggesting in anyway that you neglect your daughter to fill this spiritual commitment or to overextend yourself financially. I am sure your pastor knows and can advise you as to what is best!

The Leftists have left us!

by (1,068,480 points)

Thank you for your response.  I am a Christian for sure.  I attend a Pentecostal church.. And yes, I have been meaning to schedule an appt with one of the pastors of my church.  I appreciate your come back.  God bless you

+1 vote

Tithing began as an Old Testament law for the Jewish people.  God commanded them to tithe (10%) of what they made, whether it was the best of their sheep or other livestock or anything else.  God wanted the best.

While Christians are still encouraged and are sometimes even made to feel guilty if they do not tithe, just take a brief pause and look at the intent of tithing.  Its intent is to "give to God" from that which he has given to us.  It is not "grudgingly making out a check because God needs to get paid" or "tithe or add one more big sin to the list."  A tithe--and any offering, in fact--should be made with a grateful heart.  Your tithe directs your money to show that you support God in His work in the lives of believers, including yourself.

The money you spend on your daughter's medical expenses is not money you are spending on yourself.  If you believe (and I would think you do) that God's will is (a) for you to care for your daughter, who herself is a blessing from God to you and (b) also for her to receive the medical care she needs and deserves... then by purposing that money towards her expenses, it is indeed done in the spirit of tithing--giving money to advance the work of God in the lives of those who love him.

I'm not a pastor or an ordained anything in the church, but I am a believer.  This, then, expresses my own view, which I share with you.  It is shared with you in the hope that it will be received as a prayerful answer given to you by a fellow believer.

Stay faithful to God--and you cannot stay faithful to God by taking away from your daughter.

by (962,040 points)

Thank you so much for your response.  I always pray about things and put it in His hands.  For this as well.  I felt  really well about doing this for the same reason you mentioned.  Its still a sacrifice I am doing, not keeping the money and helping someone who desperately needs it.  What confused me was a bible study I watched which was all about the tithing and made me feel all of a sudden I may be disobeying God which is never my intention.  So, really, thank you for your response.  It did make me feel a lot better about what I am doing :)  Bless you 

+1 vote
Outstanding advice above from people I've come to respect. As indicated it's best to seek the guidance that you feel you need. As a believer God has come to me often with answers. And, many times that is to provide those in need with something that is useful or necessary for them to achieve. Therefore I believe God created us to help others.
Below are some scriptures that are quite powerful to help in your decision:
Proverbs 3:27 - "Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act."
I believe God places specific people in our lives that need help, and it is also his job to give us the resources to help those people. We all succeed when we help one another.
Proverbs 11:25 - "A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed."
Hebrews 6:10 “God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.”
Always remember by giving we express our faith in and to God. And, that God will carry any good you pass along. 
My thoughts will be with you and your daughter today. Take care!

Let your life be driven with purpose!

by (574,610 points)
edited by

Wow.  Thank you.  I feel much better with the responses  I recieved.  The devil is a liar and 

was working on discrediting what I feel is the right thing to do.  With everything I do pray for guidance.  I put God first always.  Its amazing that during bible study was when I recieved this disturbing thought.  I have reached out to my church and waiting to hear back from a pastor.  I have left a couple of messages already and still no word back which was why I came to Answerology.  I will try again tomorrow.  But thank you for the scriptures.  I needed to see that

God bless you :)


I know you might not want to even think about this, but it might be worth saying: churches rely upon tithing from their members to sustain their existence--to pay the salaries of the pastors and staff, to pay the overhead, the utilities, the materials for classes, vacation Bible schools, etc.  They also need that money to fund building projects, missions, and more.  On top of the tithes, they often initiate money-raising programs for building, special programs, missions, etc., and they request special offerings in addition to the expectation of the tithing.

As a result, many churches require, or almost require, their members to tithe.  You may well find out that as a practical matter, they don't want to allow individual exceptions to their policy.  If they tell Jerry that because he is caring for his mother, he won't have to tithe, then what do they tell Mary when she says she lost her job and is relying on unemployment, especially when she says, "Well, you told Jerry he didn't have to tithe... what about me?"

This could be why you haven't heard anything back from your queries.  While you would hope the church would extend consideration for special circumstances, they may feel their hands are tied.  

I don't want to diminish your view of your pastor here.  I'm just saying that there is a difficult decision that will be very tough to make.


You're welcome.

Many churches offer up options for fundraising to help pay medical bills. Also, you may want to ask your pastor if that something he can help you with. Many will help in setting up a fundraiser on sites such as GoFundMe. Don't give up, if there's a will there's a way. Stay positive.


Sandy, a thought occurs:  perhaps the church could say, "Continue to tithe.  God is faithful.  We as a church, as a congregation, will be donating an amount that equals or exceeds your tithe to assist you in helping your daughter in her current medical plight. It will one of our special missions project."


Yes! Very good, Media!


Thank you for your response. I had that same thought when I couldnt get a straight response but

by no means judging the pastors for it.  Im seeing things clearer these days and almost comfortable now with my decision but still looking to speak to somebody

0 votes

To me tithing is making charitable contributions in general not necessarily to the church.  That's just my opinion but to me helping your daughter would qualify.

Has she applied for Medicaid?  I'm pretty sure MD is a Medicaid expansion state.

by (988,090 points)
0 votes

To me you've just got to get your priorities right. Just a thought.

Life is what you make it.

by (4,063,911 points)
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