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+6 votes

What's something that you miss about the way your relationship was in the beginning?

Me.....the intensity.....the passion....that insatiable need....want....of your partner.  We're still intimate, but it seems more like "just going through the motions".......and not the spontaneity of when we were younger. 

in Relationships by (1,178,290 points)

8 Answers

+2 votes

As with any relationship, I always loved the things you mention that happen as the relationship is beginning. The excitement and anticipation of seeing her again, the emotions.  But all of that wears off to almost nothing as time goes by.

by (231,100 points)
+3 votes

In addition to the things you mention, and the later accompanying feelings, I've missed the flexibility in the beginning that are now those items where we are 'set in our ways'...we seem to take the same path now with no thought or effort to strike out on new paths of adventures, learning, even eating new foods are pre-emptively cast aside...and et al.

It's a much plainer, sadder, less vital rut we lie in after the relationship grows stale without thought of revival.

by (504,450 points)

I am 69 and my husband 81, we still work as self-employed business people. That itself creates many interesting situations, more arguing, planning, traveling etc. We have 2 kids and 5 grandkids and there is stuff that always goes on. I am very experimental cook, create my own recipes and in our province and our town live many foreign nationals, lots of different groceries in stores from all over the world. We eat a different meal almost every day, I never repeat the exact same recipe, sameness bores me.
We each have our own friends so we can tell each other stories of things about our different friends, so that makes times after supper and weekends more fun when we gossip, and talk about our friends and what they are up to. I read a lot, and he does too. We have 7 cats and one large dog and there is never a dull moment with them, plus our yard is big and we have a huge veggie garden and 11 fruit trees, lots of work with lots of different things. 
He likes to go to bed early, but I go shopping late when he is in bed, three of our large food stores are open till midnight. I always bump into friends and acquaintances in the stores, and tell him tomorrow who I saw. 
I don't ever want to slip into a life of sameness.

+4 votes

Your longings seem universal. I sometimes wonder why, if so many experience the same thing, has there not been a miracle fix?  Maybe it's because our relationships are more like comfort zones, rather than relationships.  I wish I had the answer. How can something so full of passion and lust fizzle out? Why we don't put the same feelings in it as we once did is strange. Not a matter of no longer loving that person either. Sad.

by (325,210 points)
+1 vote

We are recently retired, and I am missing MISSING him, if that makes sense.

+1 vote

Nothing as of yet. I still get excited to get shaved by the barber on date night. It is still fresh...... for now.

by (1,233,830 points)
0 votes

Peace and quiet with no kids, going for outings and having more sex.

by (362,700 points)
0 votes

honestly?  If this makes sense, the newness, not of the relationship, but of the curiosity for information, and knowing the person.  I feel like, after a while the quest for information and responses given diminishes.

Honestly?  When I love a person, I am always excited for them, sometimes that is seen as too much or overbearing, but I feel like people just get comfortable and lose their zest for others for no reason

by (1,189,840 points)
0 votes

Anything new, from a new car to a house,  to a personal relationship is going to be exciting for some time. Of course personal relationships are valued much more than something material. But the newness dies down as you get comfortable with one another. Some allow for those feelings to settle as they grow older and some like yourself miss those beginning times a lot. 

   Maybe you can create something new in the relationship, or do things you used to do together to make those memories come alive again. 

    Good to see you back, Mamu. 

by (1,251,750 points)
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