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How to ask a guy to keep it casual

+2 votes
I met this guy in tinder twice. We get on really well and we have made out most of the time during these two dates. I have just got out of a 4 year relationship and have been single for just three months so I do not want any relationships or any fancy dates I just want to meet him for fun and just have sex with him. Thing is he has only met me twice and he seems to want something a little more exclusive. I have told him I am not ready to date him like that and need a lot of space. He said it was ok and that we will remain friends and I said ok. Do you think he is open to a more casual thing? Do you think I should ask him? Do you think it will be detrimental to him in the future? 

asked Jan 2 in Dating by Littleislandcreature (1,650 points)

7 Answers

+2 votes

You have to tell him that you are just looking for sex with no strings, and if he cannot accept that, you need to let him go and find someone who can.   If you have the impression that he is just going along with it, but he really wants more, then find someone else. 

The theory of evolution, like the theory of gravity, is a scientific fact.  NDT

answered Jan 2 by lavender (2,488,860 points)
+2 votes

Friends with benefits always leads to someones broken heart.......

answered Jan 2 by stanorocks! (158,080 points)
+2 votes

Seriously? You just want to hook up? Your body is no big deal but becoming involved emotionally well you just are not ready Lol.  You do realize that usually it is smarter to hold out for the sex, not the commitment. You will be used up by 30 if you keep lending  your body to any guy you want to date and have fun with. No guy is ever going to take being in a relationship with you seriously. What a huge stupid mistake. This guy could be a keeper. And you just want meaningless sex with him. 

answered Jan 2 by Cinders717 (3,393,040 points)
Being slutty can be fun.....
For the guy!!! NO slut sign hung on HIS back! lol
Mines tattooed on........
I had no doubt at ALL!! lol
Yes for the record, I do want sex and sex only :) I sincerely feel that there is nothing wrong with that and thay it doesnt necessarily mean i wont be loved in the future. Let s get out of the dark ages please! But thank you for your honesty
I truly hope it will work out for you, and won't be something that you come to regret;)
+2 votes

Your intent is good, you need to phrase it better.  You are trying to find yourself and this guy is trying to find someone..... so a basic conflict exists.

Hookup with the guy w/o promises.... keep him distant and close.  When you are ready to move on, move on w/o regrets.  It is an art form however.

Good luck and good hunting

“Better a true enemy than a false friend.”

answered Jan 2 by Archerchef (1,859,470 points)
+4 votes

I am going to be blunt with you, because it is all I know how to be.  If you are not ready to date, and do not want to take things further, you should not be on tinder.  If your only reason that you feel this guy is taking it too fast is that you just got out of a relationship, it isn't his issue.

Men do not want female friends, unless we have known you since elementary school and we grew up together.  A grown man becomes friends with a female to see if he can see her as a wife long term.  Only way a man can be friends with a woman is if he is not attracted to her or there is no chemistry, especially if he is single

Time is simply how we live our lives-Craig Sager

answered Jan 2 by curiousguy (750,520 points)
+2 votes

Be straightforward about the expectations and allow him to decide if he's cool with it or not.

"He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life." - Muhammad Ali

answered Jan 2 by king313 (799,010 points)
+1 vote

Many years ago, I can see a group of pubescent males sitting around talking:

"Hey guys, what if we came up with something like a Sexual Revolution?  We could sell it as a women's equality thing - that they should be able to have sex when they want it without any restrictions just like guys do."

"Don't be crazy!" his friends would have replied.  "It'll never work.  Women will see right through your rouse."  And they all laugh.

More recently, the doorbell rings.  The suggestion's author answers the door to receive a package.  After signing for it, he thanks the driver and returns inside to open it.  There's two season tickets to the National Title game and a short note.

"OK, all the guys got together and agreed that you were right about the Sexual Revolution idea.  It worked!  We can now find sex whenever and wherever we want.  Your idea about the Tinder app was genius too!  Now, we're facing another problem.  There seems to be a severe shortage of girls to actually marry and have a family with.  Any suggestions?"


answered Jan 2 by MarvinMartian (61,060 points)
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